A rogues' gallery featuring America's most hapless criminals. Crime definitely doesn't seem to pay for such lunkheaded lawbreakers as: the burglar caught red-handed by a returning homeowner because he had become entranced playing with the owner's video game in midcrime; the suspect in a series of vending-machine robberies who posted his $400 bail using a sackful of quarters; the two criminals chased on foot by police from the scene of a burglary who hopped a fence to lose their pursuers. It was the outer perimeter of San Quentin Prison; the man who reported to security guards at a resort that someone had stolen $1000 worth of cocaine from his room. - Back cover.